Month 34

 Now we are in July and about 1 month before the beginning of school (I know I'm a little late with this). I started going back into my room last week (I think). At my last appointment with my primary care provider, things went sideways. I told them that my anxiety is running very high, I have trouble sleeping, and was giving a sleeping medication to start with. Since I already take medication for anxiety, the hope is that I will be a little better if I can get some sleep. My blood pressure has completely went off the rails. I went from needing 10mg of medication to 40mg and it is still running high. The likelihood is that I will be given another medication soon as obviously my body isn't responding to the meds like it should. 

The back to school stress is hitting. I had a few very dark days, where my husband was genuinely concerned about me. Now it's a daily issue of whether I am going to make it through the day without becoming a basket case. My weight has went up, largely because I can't be bothered to move around the house. 

Just the idea of spending another 34 months in the school system is daunting. To be honest, I am not sure I can make it. The decline in my health, physical and mental, has been devastating. 

In answer to the question that I always put in here, I will not make it beyond the 34 month out date that I have set for myself in education.